...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
