Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
