Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
