There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
