yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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