ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I sprained my soul last night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm both gender and math confused
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
