She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
