If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
