i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
