Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have post one night stand depression
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
