Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she looked like the before picture.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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