My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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