Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
