we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
