did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize