everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize