seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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