Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
