I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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