her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
