There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
