Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
