2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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