I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
