I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
