I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
