I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
