I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
