I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Come on in and take your pants off
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