At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
