I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
