Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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