No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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