He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
