i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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