That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
