i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
