i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
