yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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