He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
