Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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