if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
