Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I color on your dick again?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
