I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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