she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
