you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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