spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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