i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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