so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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