Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
