One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
