So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
