Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
