His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
