I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
