I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
