Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
