He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There r osticjed everywhere
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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