saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
