They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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