I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
