woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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