can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
